i used to feel warm,
both inside and outside,
from the body heat you produced,
the lack of shame,
and the vast ocean of intimacies

we made love and fire
we burned past mistakes
– forgiven, forgotten-
we shared a bed
we shared a laugh
sleeping was so easy
loving you was easy

the space between us gave up
as we cuddled and merged
into one entity entirely entitled to its own life
free as a bird,
ocean breeze,
a summer night’s dream
and watermelon juice

you were summer and winter and spring
you rained positive affirmations on me
you sprinkled me with magic
and built a safe haven
you taught me to dream big
you always believed in me
even when you gave me wings to fly away

our memories still persist
they guide me through uncertainties
and feed my pain and yearning for something pure
effortless
romantically rebellious
honest.

but owning up to our decisions
means i need to grow up
i have to leave
you
i have to love
me